Trusting God When Your Birth Didn't Go As Planned
Your birth didn’t play out as you hoped it would.
Maybe your birth was more painful than you expected.
Maybe you ended up getting an epidural when you wanted to have a completely unmedicated birth.
Maybe you gave birth early and your baby ended up spending time in the NICU.
Maybe you had a C-section when you didn’t want one.
Maybe you were planning on giving birth at home and ended up in the hospital due to complications with your labor.
Or maybe you went home alone, without your baby.
However your story was written, it was not what you had dreamed it would be.
You feel disappointment and grief mixed with the joy of your new baby. Or maybe you’re grieving the loss of your baby and the life you dreamed of having together. You’re wondering “What if I would have done XYZ? Would things have turned out differently.” Or “Why did God allow this birth to unfold the way it did?” Or “Why did God not allow my baby to live?”
No matter how your birth played out. No matter the outcome you had: I promise you, that whatever you went through, whatever emotions and trauma you’re healing from, God will not waste your story. He is still good and faithful and gracious and kind. Our circumstances, dear sister, do not determine who our Father is. Though our emotions feel like a rollercoaster we can trust that our God never changes. He is our solid rock in the storm. *
James 1:2-4 says:
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
It’s not easy to have joy in trials. But we can take comfort in the fact that God uses our trials to grow us. He uses them so that we can see that our faith in Him is real and that He is trustworthy. And he uses our trials to make us more like Jesus.
Romans 8:28 says:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
God uses all things—even our birth stories that aren’t what we hoped for—for our good.
This doesn’t excuse the hurtful or thoughtless thing someone said or did to you. It doesn’t excuse the brokenness of the hospital system or the lack of support from the people around you. We live in a broken world filled with broken people. Someday, God will make all things new** and we can look forward to that. But today, in your brokenness God can meet you. He can heal your heart. It may take some time--maybe more time than you want it to—but God is faithful and true to His word. He can use this birth that you are struggling with to grow you, and He can use it for your good.
So how do you trust God with your birth story?
You trust Him by taking Him at His word. You grieve and lament the parts of your story that need to be grieved. You bring all those emotions to your Abba Father. Lay them at His feet and ask Him to heal you. Ask Him to use what you went through for good. And when your thoughts and emotions start to spiral you GO TO HIM again. You cry out to your Father who loves you and you go to His Word. Meditate on it and choose to believe Him even if you don’t feel like it. Truth, my dear, dear sister, is found in His word and not our emotions. We can trust Him because He is who He says He is and He loves you more than you know.
Trusting God with your birth story means taking Him at His word, trusting Him with the broken pieces and allowing Him to walk with you and heal your heart.
*Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8, Psalm 62:2, Psalm 28:1
**Revelation 21:5
Catharine is a birth doula and a stay home/homeschool mama of 5. She has a passion for serving women on their motherhood journey. Catharine believes the memories surrounding birth are some of the most precious memories in a woman's life. How she is cared for during this precious and vulnerable time will make a big impact on her life. Each birth is unique and Catharine seeks to provide education and support so each mother can make informed decisions that are best for her. Her desire is that each mother can look back on her birth knowing she was loved and well cared for.
If you are looking for doula support for your birth journey please reach out!
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Disclaimer: The information on this website is intended solely for educational purposes. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always discuss any questions or concerns with your provider.
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